randy merritt
Donating Member
Couple of the local hot rodders got a kick out of my story I wrote a few years ago, so I thought I would post it. BTW that El Camino is bad ass, approx. 800 HP on the spray, and he did come back and beat me with slicks (before my mods). Maybe we will go again one day.
The following words describe the actual events that transpired on Friday, May 21, in the year of our Lord 2010 A.D.
It was a day not unlike many other days, but on this day, after an afternoon meal, Mr. Gene Cutchin challenged Mr. Randy Merritt to an impromptu race between Gene Cutchin’s 1979 El Camino and Randy Merritt’s 1991 V6 GMC Syclone Pickup. Mr. Cutchin demanded a $100 dollar prize for his participation in this challenge, but Mr. Merritt declined and said “Mr. Cutchin, I only have a V6 compact pickup truck, what chance do I have?” Frustrated and bloodthirsty, Mr. Cutchin belted “I’ll tell you what, I’ll run that thing for one dollar, and when I beat you, you have to sign the dollar.” Mr. Merritt agreed to Mr. Cutchin’s challenge and a time and place for competition was agreed upon. Upon arrival at the agreed location there were some minor transmission issues encountered by Mr. Merritt, but they were quickly resolved. Upon the correct and valid start of the true race, the combatants were staged and ready.
The young Aaron Parsons, acting as a starting line judge, stood rigid as a statue in the still May afternoon heat. Hands were raised indicating readiness, and the signal to proceed with the challenge was issued. Mr. Merritt surged ahead, while Mr. Cutchin was mired in a cloud of tire smoke from his El Camino. Although he tried his best, at the end of the chosen distance, one quarter of a mile, there was one vehicle crossing the line first, and it was not Mr. Cutchin. Upon returning to the starting line, the young Aaron Parsons was visibly shaken. “Say it ain’t so Mr. Gene” wailed Aaron, “say it ain’t so”.
After the challenge, on the way home, Mr. Cutchin tried to regain some small measure of respect and attempted to pass Mr. Merritt at a speed of approximately 60 miles per hour. Mr. Merritt participated briefly, but when he observed the cloud of smoke emanating from Mr. Cutchin’s vehicle, he took pity on Mr. Cutchin and decided to discontinue accelerating and give Mr. Cutchin an illusion of victory. Later, Mr. Cutchin appealed his loss to the official review board, but to no avail, and he finally, very reluctantly, signed a dollar that had to be given to him by Mr. Merritt. The above facsimile of the actual dollar bill signed by Mr. Cutchin may be signed by others, but it should be duly noted that Mr. Cutchins was the first one to sign, as the original loser in this ongoing challenge. On that day, in that place, Gene Cutchin became not Gene Cutchin the legend, but Gene Cutchin the man: The man with no traction who’s mighty white El Camino got its ass handed to it by a V6 GMC pickup.
BE IT THEREFORE SWORN TO AND VERIFIED AS THE TRUE ACCOUNT OF EVENTS THAT OCCURRED ON MAY 21, IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2010.
Randy Merritt Not valid without raised seal
The following words describe the actual events that transpired on Friday, May 21, in the year of our Lord 2010 A.D.
It was a day not unlike many other days, but on this day, after an afternoon meal, Mr. Gene Cutchin challenged Mr. Randy Merritt to an impromptu race between Gene Cutchin’s 1979 El Camino and Randy Merritt’s 1991 V6 GMC Syclone Pickup. Mr. Cutchin demanded a $100 dollar prize for his participation in this challenge, but Mr. Merritt declined and said “Mr. Cutchin, I only have a V6 compact pickup truck, what chance do I have?” Frustrated and bloodthirsty, Mr. Cutchin belted “I’ll tell you what, I’ll run that thing for one dollar, and when I beat you, you have to sign the dollar.” Mr. Merritt agreed to Mr. Cutchin’s challenge and a time and place for competition was agreed upon. Upon arrival at the agreed location there were some minor transmission issues encountered by Mr. Merritt, but they were quickly resolved. Upon the correct and valid start of the true race, the combatants were staged and ready.
The young Aaron Parsons, acting as a starting line judge, stood rigid as a statue in the still May afternoon heat. Hands were raised indicating readiness, and the signal to proceed with the challenge was issued. Mr. Merritt surged ahead, while Mr. Cutchin was mired in a cloud of tire smoke from his El Camino. Although he tried his best, at the end of the chosen distance, one quarter of a mile, there was one vehicle crossing the line first, and it was not Mr. Cutchin. Upon returning to the starting line, the young Aaron Parsons was visibly shaken. “Say it ain’t so Mr. Gene” wailed Aaron, “say it ain’t so”.
After the challenge, on the way home, Mr. Cutchin tried to regain some small measure of respect and attempted to pass Mr. Merritt at a speed of approximately 60 miles per hour. Mr. Merritt participated briefly, but when he observed the cloud of smoke emanating from Mr. Cutchin’s vehicle, he took pity on Mr. Cutchin and decided to discontinue accelerating and give Mr. Cutchin an illusion of victory. Later, Mr. Cutchin appealed his loss to the official review board, but to no avail, and he finally, very reluctantly, signed a dollar that had to be given to him by Mr. Merritt. The above facsimile of the actual dollar bill signed by Mr. Cutchin may be signed by others, but it should be duly noted that Mr. Cutchins was the first one to sign, as the original loser in this ongoing challenge. On that day, in that place, Gene Cutchin became not Gene Cutchin the legend, but Gene Cutchin the man: The man with no traction who’s mighty white El Camino got its ass handed to it by a V6 GMC pickup.
BE IT THEREFORE SWORN TO AND VERIFIED AS THE TRUE ACCOUNT OF EVENTS THAT OCCURRED ON MAY 21, IN THE YEAR OF OUR LORD 2010.
Randy Merritt Not valid without raised seal
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